I want to make a zoo with you.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
