I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
