the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
