So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
