my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
