So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
