I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
a search helicopter?!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
