and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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