he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
