He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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