after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
