So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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