nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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