HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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