okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
