like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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