6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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