i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
