I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
