that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize