he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
