He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
