i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
