did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
