take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
