Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
