porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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