ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize