whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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