I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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