Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
