your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
