Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize