The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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