Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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