I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
