we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
