I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize