So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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