Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
