Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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