Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
