omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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