last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
