dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
