From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is wine microwaveable?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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