i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
