I just made out with a guy for $7.
Non-Jews are for practice
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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