Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
