I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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