I'm really into asian looking animals
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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