your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
