Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
