fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
