it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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